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Bitter fruit of delayed marriage!

July 10, 2012

Watch this!   Wow! What a great commentary on the current condition of singleness in America. For centuries, humanity has married. Couples have even married in their teen years. But not us. We must seek many things before family: the ‘right’ job, travel the world (man, have many times have I heard this one from women! Sorry ladies, I don’t know what the guys are saying to you! Feel free to comment.), find myself (whatever that means), date around (can’t marry the first dozen you meet right?), ad infinitum.  This video really ought to strike a chord with us. The world senses something is wrong, especially at the end of the journey of the current American singles’ mindset. Sure, lots of parties, get togethers, outtings, traveling, etc but you still come home by yourself. You still face the emptiness of the nest. You know your future heritage through children is cut off. You know the clock has struck midnight and the dance is over. Ah, what great wisdom Christians have followed in being like Americans regarding marriage and singleness!

The Lord tells us what should be the wisdom we follow: Genesis 1:28 ‘God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Now consider this: why would the infinitely wise God, out of the endless things He could have said to man first, choose to say: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth…” as His first statement to humanity? He could’ve said “Don’t sin” or “Love me always”, etc. But instead He talks about marriage and family. Families big enough to ‘fill the earth.’ And that’s a lot of real estate to cover! By the way, notice how also ‘being fruitful and filling the earth’ is directly related to ‘subduing the earth’ in the same context. Without children to follow us in life, subduing simply stops because there is no one else there to carry on the work. And from a Christian standpoint, if we remain childless then the subduing that will be done will be accomplished for the idols of the world and the glory of man rather than for Christ and His kindgom. And interesting enough, I hear Christians mourn across America because we are losing the culture war. Well, guess why. We don’t have children, so we don’t have our kids to subdue the world for Christ.  But yet we continue to follow the wisdom of the world. How silly! No wonder we are losing and will continue to lose the cultural war. Simple truth: demographics is destiny. Dislike it if you will, but the ones who have children will direct the future of society.

Here’s another interesting tidbit from history to give us some perspective. Did you know that the church never had a singles ministry for over 1,950 plus years of its existence? Poor church! How’d they ever make it without a singles ministry? Or, perhaps this speaks more to where we are off base. Perhaps we are the anomaly. It doesn’t take much observation to see that singleness is epidemic in the church. Entire ministries, budgets, conferences, etc are built around something the history of the church has never seen before.  And yet singleness is celebrated as if it is normative or an equally valid option as marriage. How do you reconcile this with 1 Timothy 4:1-3? The last days marking a time of falling away from the Lord will be evidenced by people who ‘forbid marriage’. What’s even more striking about this passage is that it’s linked with the doctrine of demons! “No marrying” mindset equal to doctrines of demons?! Not sure I’ve ever heard that during singles ministry!

It seems its hard to find singles committed to the local church at each of its established meeting times. But offer a conference where it’s an opp for adventure, travel, new experience, social gathering, etc and you’ll have them there. And yet they can’t seem to commit to marriage and children. It’s no surprise they won’t commit to the local church. Too many options out there to go after whether it’s in get togethers meeting other singles or conferences offering various topics to the multi-facted interests of today’s singles. And singles do have options. That’s part of the appeal. But one thing they don’t have an option on: the end result of their choice. “Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap.” Galatians 6:7  The sad part is that there is bitter fruit that comes with delayed marriage. The bitter fruit is that there is no fruit at all.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. James Smith permalink
    October 19, 2013 3:06 PM

    Isaac was 40 years old when he married Rebekah. Just sayin’

  2. hckilgore permalink*
    October 21, 2013 12:31 AM

    James, you are correct. However, a couple of things need to be considered w/ Isaac. 1) Isaac lived to be 180 years old also…40 years old is a pup if you live to be 180! Compare it w/ someone who typically lives only to be 80 years old today, Isaac would have been 17 1/2 years old. 2) The fact that Abraham had no children till extremely late in life, even after 25 years pass the initial promise of a seed/child. Abraham’s age, the potential sexual infidelity (recall Abimilech’s desire for Sarah) threatened the actualization of the seed/child also is relived in Isaac, who is older before he finally can marry and carry out the fulfillment of having a seed/child for the covenant promises of Abraham and the world (cf. Gal. 3:16). So in summary, Isaac’s delayed marriage at 40 is more about the seed being threatened and God’s amazing grace/power to bring about the seed/child in spite of historical circumstances. Isaac, like Abraham, holds a special place in redemptive history in bringing about the seed of Gen. 3:15 and Gen. 12, and isn’t to be seen as normative for our experiences. No specific age is given in scripture for marriage age, but it does talk about the wife of one’s youth several times. (Prov. 5:18, Isaiah 54:6, Malachi 2:14, 15) Thanks for your reply on this difficult topic of our day. Pray for me as I seek to honor the Lord in all things. Grace to you!

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